marching confidently into the future

augiebrain does not have an 'off' switch

management reserves the right to refuse service to anybody

todos los empleados deben lavarse las manos antes de regresar al trabajo

objects in mirror are closer than they appear

augie uses four-letter words like fart, snot, poop, damn and work in his public utterances

entering a heart, cupid and candy-free zone.

augie avoidz both director's and cattleman's cuts

There will be another sunrise

contradictions in terms: the altruistic housecat

friend billy singz, only the good die young

to replace broken shoelaces, why is it easier to buy new shoes than new shoelaces?

we should follow the example of the trees

abandon hope all ye who enter Farch! (or Ferch)

augie sez he doesn't care what time it is.

augie does his best forgetting right after he does his best thinking.

irony: penultimate is augie's favorite word.

objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

ray harryhausen still rules.

entering the MLK chill zone.

reality isn't all it's cracked up to be.

friend calvin sez: day by day nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything is different.

augie would rather be racing vacuum cleaners.

are we there yet?

directions: stir in a clockwise direction. do not drop. go east three miles.